May 2012
184 posts
survived my first weekend waitressing… 2 doubles and a friday night dinner shift… I definitely got spoiled this weekend. I can not imagine tips being this good every weekend, but if they are, I am set for a whileeee. Even though my feet hurt so bad I can’t walk, and I missed out on a gorgeous beach day, this weekend has been awesome. The people I work with are so much fun.
...
How come I always work when it’s gorgeous out and then the days I have off it is supposed to thunder. FUCK THIS NOISE.
FOR SERIOUSLY?
ANOTHER break in on my street this week.. this time like four houses down from me. This is ridiculous. WHAT IS GOING ON. This is the third time this week.
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife… ‘cause they robbin’ everyone up in herrr.
Not to mention the fact that two streets away from me on Monday an armed and masked guy knocked on some guys door… the only thing that stopped him...
“Wake up kids
We’ve got the dreamers disease
Age 14 we got you down on...”
A few nights ago someone tried to break into my nextdoor neighbor’s house… but the dog scared them off. Today, someone successfully broke into and robbed my neighbor on the other side of my house.
I live in a quiet cow path town. WTF.
1 tag
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
second day of work was interesting...
First table I had ordered fish tacos, and I brought them up………………without the fish in them. The kitchen and bartender thought that was the funniest thing on the planet.
THEN I found the most huge and horrifying spider in the kitchen and freaked out…. and again the kitchen boys laughed at me, until the head chef told one of them to kill it, and he freaked...
only I could lose my nose ring sitting on the couch.
I just killed a motherfucking tarantula in my...
(because no one could hear my cries for help, they just sounded like little squeaks… fuck laryngitis I COULD HAVE DIED)
2 tags
It is amazing how some things about my high school never change. I went to my little sister’s baccalaureate tonight and came home with a head full of gossip. Man do NDA girls like to gossip. Found out some shocking stuff though. Apparently the quietest, nerdiest, most harmless girl in my graduating class (she stood about 4 foot 5) got pulled out of college by her parents because she started...
